Melted

My sketches were a very important part of this blog and I've let them go to the back burner because I put too much pressure on myself.  I have a habit of diving head first into a project, and then VOILA! Shiny Object!!! ...and I get distracted.

I started this sketch on 4/14 but then got stumped, had a friend die so I changed tact with my posts, then I ended up writing "Frozen" from my iPhone while sitting on a pool deck in Jacksonville.
Sometimes things just flow as they flow.  Let it be.

As I wrote in my last post, I have a new project underway.  Totally out of my comfort zone.  What I realized is that because I am not a homemaker or a trophy wife and I do run two businesses, I have limited time to do anything not absolutely necessary.

Sorry Pinterest, I will pin a lot of things that I will never EVER make, BUT damn those spray-painted-rubber-band-on-wine-bottle-candle holder things are cute next to those no-bake-peanut-butter-fudge-bars.
You have to MAKE time, yeah yeah, whatever. Screw you.

I am going to approach this project a bit methodically to make sure I do it the right way the first time.  I'm giving myself a fairly long time frame (as in years) and I am taking in some educational resources in bits and pieces.  If I were 20 years younger I would have enrolled in school (again) re-arranged my work schedule, and jumped in a lava pit only to eventually get burned out.  That's how I roll.

I am 45 and I want to do this ever-growing-thing in my head properly (lets call it Project K).  I am not going to half-ass it so it is mediocre because I want it to get me on the proverbial map and hopefully, make me a success...(and some extra dough wouldn't hurt either).  The suspense is killing me.

This weekend my husband and I were talking about how our lives have turned around so much in the past few months and there is more focus for things like this.  We have two legal battles behind us, we are taking much better care of our bodies, and we have released some VERY toxic baggage in our lives.
Things are calm.  Is it the calm before the storm? Maybe, but sometimes you need a good storm when you've been in a drought and my creativity has been bone dry.

Toxicity comes in many forms.  Chemical, solid, liquid and human.  Human toxicity is the worst.  As they say, like attracts like which is a beautiful thing, but when shit piles on top of shit, things stink.  Hang around with assholes and eventually you become an asshole.  Give in to drama and you become wrapped up in drama.  I prefer to take my hippy dippiness to new heights and live my life like its one big-ass love-in.  If you aren't enjoying the party then leave.  Now that things are calm, we can focus on the most important things in our life, each other, our family, our home, and our friends.  All of the Projects K's can now fall into place.

So back to my original thought which is my sketches. Going forward some posts will have them and some won't. Not gonna stress about it anymore.  I don't want anything I do creatively to feel like work because if you don't love what you do each and every day then it too can become toxic.  No one likes to wake up each day when the alarm goes off and having that first, eye-opening, pleasant thought... "Fuck I hate my job, I don't want to go to work". I don't like to schedule time to draw, I just like to draw.
I used to tell my employees at Crate, "If you wake up hating the idea of coming here each day then my all means leave. Save yourself from misery.  It isn't anything personal but I don't want people on my team that don't enjoy what they do. There is something else out there for you that you will love doing, you just need to make the effort to find it".  You get what you give. If you're a lazy fucker then don't complain.

"Find yourself and love what you find". K. Crisp