If You Wanna Dance, You Gotta Pay the Fiddler

Before Doing The Right Thing

Since I started teaching yoga I am far more aware of my body and the bodies of others.  Now with that said, I will admit that it took me YEARS to actually take good care of my body, it wasn't an instantaneous decision and I didn't suddenly start doing yoga and POOF! I'm healthy... far from it. As a matter of fact, while I was in yoga teacher training program I treated my body probably the worst I ever have sans the silly drugs of the 80's.  I was working full time, going to school 15 hours a week, putting my body into pretzel-like shapes 5 hours at a shot, drinking VERY heavily, and smoking a blunt ... or two or three.  Stress kicked in like a bad-ass ninja and I took to the streets to fix it.  

I have been teaching 5 years and my tables have turned.  I'm not denouncing all things bad but I kicked out the ones that were literally killing me... mainly booze and crap food.  What I find so fascinating is that many of us treat out bodies like shit and we don't care.  We criticize others for doing either too much good or too much bad and no one can find a happy medium.  It sucks.  No one is perfect, yet we talk about each other like WE are.  "You see her? OMG look how FAAAAAT she is!".   On the flip side what I hear ALL of the time is "What do you mean you don't drink??? Anything? Ever? Not even wine with dinner?". No.  I don't drink at all.  I hate wine and I always have so if you have to ask me if I drink a glass of wine with dinner then you clearly don't know me very well, at all. Actually you are most likely a nosy-ass stranger who I got into a conversation with but you feel that you have the right to criticize me, well, just because.  

I'm not a vegetarian or a vegan.  Let me just squash that first yoga stereotype.  I eat meat.  Not tons of it, but lets repeat it... I ... eat ... meat!  Okay? Okay, moving on... 

I quit drinking 3 and a bit years ago because I simply had to.  I was a mid-level alcoholic. By the way, no one likes that word unless you are a paper bag wielding homeless guy living in a doorway in New York. When I said to my dad a few years ago, "I've been sober for (fill in appropriate time here) years". His response was "Don't say you've been sober, just say you haven't had a drink!!!".  Alrighty then. Sounds the same to me but whatever floats your boat.  

We only have one body, and we treat it like shit.  We eat poorly, drink excessively, do drugs, lay covered in oil under a giant ball of fire, drive fast, have un-safe sex, and let random doctors cut us open so they can pull, pluck, shred, suck, and manipulate us into "looking better".  As the years go by and the doctor says, "I'm sorry to tell you, you have cancer, AIDS, melanoma, cirrhosis, etc..." or whatever horrifying disease comes out of his/her mouth, we act shocked.  
Help me, I'm dying.

We want help when we're dying. We want help when we are sick.  We want help and we want it now.  "Why can't you help me quicker?"  "What do you mean there is no cure?"  "Terminal illness?" 
"HELP ME NOW! DO WHATEVER YOU CAN!!!"

My paternal grandfather had a very mild heart attack and the doctor wanted him to have an angioplasty. He went into the hospital, failed the stress test, and started screaming "get me out of here, they just want my money, I'm fine!".  Maybe that's the stubborn Irish, maybe that was fear as he had never set foot in a hospital, ever.  He was released and went back to his life.  6 months later he had a massive heart attack while playing golf.  When my grandmother got to him he was on a gurney, blue from the neck down.  He looked at her and said "Whatever they need to do to me to fix this, you have them do it okay?".  He died the same day.  

We are an OVER privileged society of demanding, stubborn people.  If you read my previous post about Tracy Ryan and the Unsupersize Me film you are reminded how there is an underground culture of obese people who want it to be cool to be obese.  I don't get it, never will.  These are the ones who will be lying on a bed waiting for a fire truck to come pull them out of a house because they are simply too big to move.  My tax payer dollars can be used for better things my friends... like putting out fires.  

There are people screaming at me literally and figuratively because I quit drinking. I will ask you ever so politely to fuck off. Please.  It was one of the best things I could have done for my body, my mind, and my relationships.  Will I ever have a drop of alcohol again? Maybe, maybe not.  I'm not concerned with it and you shouldn't be either.  

When someone has a problem with anything in excess, there is usually a reason why.  Sometimes it isn't as easy as "stop eating you fat fuck" or "just quit".  You have to be willing and ready... ready being the key word. I can sit here and type my heart out but if you ain't ready, ain't nobody quittin' nothin'.  

With all this said we should keep in mind that WE are still responsible for our own actions and that is where the problem tends to lie.  We blame our past, we blame others (If it was bad for us they wouldn't sell it would they?) and we don't take responsibility for ourselves but we want someone else to pick up the pieces.  I call bullshit.  If you know in your heart of hearts that what you are doing, drinking, eating, smoking, fucking, is wrong then start by abiding by one simple rule:

Do The Right Thing

It can be as simple as that.  When you go into decision making mode and your brain kicks in, many times we look at a situation and think "I shouldn't do it but...".  That's your cue.  Do The Right Thing  I use it with my step kids for the simplest of tasks. When you see the towel on the floor, instead of saying "not mine" just pick it up because you are then Doing The Right Thing.  I'm not saying be a doormat or to get taken advantage of, I'm simply using the most basic of skills to make you realize how easy SOME of those decisions can be.  
"He's cute but I'm drunk and he could be an ax-murderer, should I take him home?"  
Do The Right Thing.  

...and yes, I am fully aware that doing the right thing can be awfully fucking boring in some circumstances but it could also save your life, someone elses life, or your health.  I wish I could rewind just half of the stupid decisions I've made in my life and Do The Right Thing.  
It would have saved me many heartaches, pounds, hangovers, friendships, and dollars. 

Don't complain my pretties when you are faced with a doom and gloom situation simply because you made bad choices that could have been overcome with a simple decision.  If you have a true problem and need to seek medical or mental health attention I urge you to go get it.  If your loved ones are struggling to make a life-changing decision no matter how it affects your time at the bar or the all-you-can-eat buffet, support them.  Don't encourage the bad behaviors of others when they are trying to do good for themselves just because it might affect your social life.  

In all aspects of life Do The Right Thing. 
  
...and to conclude I have to recall a time when I drank too much around age 20 or 21. As 21 was the legal drinking age, lets just pretend.  
I got bombed beyond belief and had a horrendous hangover.  I was spending the night with one of my best friends, her parents came home the next day and her dad just looked at me sitting curled in a ball in a Pier One papason chair in total agony.  He went to the kitchen, made me a rockin' chocolate chip milkshake and said "after seeing this with 6 kids I'll give you the same advice ... If you wanna dance, you gotta pay the fiddler".
I never forgot that and never will.  Clearly I didn't do the right thing.