We Are Free

On this Memorial Day, every single person in this country should stop and give thanks for those who put their lives on the line for us and for those who LOST their lives so that we could be a free people.

Many people in America feel a sense of entitlement and we are rubbing this off onto the next generation. Not so much in the welfare, food stamps, kind of entitlement but in the "I deserve this simply because I exist" kind of entitlement.  

What gives you the right to have that new phone? That new iPad? As many clothes as you can possibly squeeze into one closet? Freedom.  
What gives you the right to stay at a hotel? Take a vacation? Get on an airplane? Freedom.  
What allows you the right to drive whatever car you want? Work wherever you want? Go to school and study whatever you want? Freedom.

If our soldiers did not go out on the front lines for us every single day, you can be damn sure that there are some pretty nasty individuals out there that would make sure that America was as far as could be from "Land of the Free" and "Home of the Brave".  

Think of that the next time you DEMAND a seat by the window, or you DEMAND to have a king size bed because, well, you think you are a king.  Think of that when you go get your daily over-priced Starbucks fix and think of that when you look down at someone simply because you think you are better than they are. You're not ... you are human just like the rest of us.  

There are hundreds of countries in tyranny, war, famine, drought, and infested with disease.  If our troops stopped fighting for us tomorrow, the rights and freedoms we have now would disappear overnight. Period.  No discussion, no second chance. 

You are entitled to breathe, live, and die.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Due to our servicemen and women, we breath a pretty clean, clear air and we should never, ever forget that. 

It is a nice idea to think that we should have all of our troops at home but it isn't a reality.  We need them to protect us from the bad fuckers around the globe and here at home to ensure that my freedoms and yours stay that way... FREE.

God Bless those who serve, those who have sacrificed for us, and God Bless America.  

If You Wanna Dance, You Gotta Pay the Fiddler

Before Doing The Right Thing

Since I started teaching yoga I am far more aware of my body and the bodies of others.  Now with that said, I will admit that it took me YEARS to actually take good care of my body, it wasn't an instantaneous decision and I didn't suddenly start doing yoga and POOF! I'm healthy... far from it. As a matter of fact, while I was in yoga teacher training program I treated my body probably the worst I ever have sans the silly drugs of the 80's.  I was working full time, going to school 15 hours a week, putting my body into pretzel-like shapes 5 hours at a shot, drinking VERY heavily, and smoking a blunt ... or two or three.  Stress kicked in like a bad-ass ninja and I took to the streets to fix it.  

I have been teaching 5 years and my tables have turned.  I'm not denouncing all things bad but I kicked out the ones that were literally killing me... mainly booze and crap food.  What I find so fascinating is that many of us treat out bodies like shit and we don't care.  We criticize others for doing either too much good or too much bad and no one can find a happy medium.  It sucks.  No one is perfect, yet we talk about each other like WE are.  "You see her? OMG look how FAAAAAT she is!".   On the flip side what I hear ALL of the time is "What do you mean you don't drink??? Anything? Ever? Not even wine with dinner?". No.  I don't drink at all.  I hate wine and I always have so if you have to ask me if I drink a glass of wine with dinner then you clearly don't know me very well, at all. Actually you are most likely a nosy-ass stranger who I got into a conversation with but you feel that you have the right to criticize me, well, just because.  

I'm not a vegetarian or a vegan.  Let me just squash that first yoga stereotype.  I eat meat.  Not tons of it, but lets repeat it... I ... eat ... meat!  Okay? Okay, moving on... 

I quit drinking 3 and a bit years ago because I simply had to.  I was a mid-level alcoholic. By the way, no one likes that word unless you are a paper bag wielding homeless guy living in a doorway in New York. When I said to my dad a few years ago, "I've been sober for (fill in appropriate time here) years". His response was "Don't say you've been sober, just say you haven't had a drink!!!".  Alrighty then. Sounds the same to me but whatever floats your boat.  

We only have one body, and we treat it like shit.  We eat poorly, drink excessively, do drugs, lay covered in oil under a giant ball of fire, drive fast, have un-safe sex, and let random doctors cut us open so they can pull, pluck, shred, suck, and manipulate us into "looking better".  As the years go by and the doctor says, "I'm sorry to tell you, you have cancer, AIDS, melanoma, cirrhosis, etc..." or whatever horrifying disease comes out of his/her mouth, we act shocked.  
Help me, I'm dying.

We want help when we're dying. We want help when we are sick.  We want help and we want it now.  "Why can't you help me quicker?"  "What do you mean there is no cure?"  "Terminal illness?" 
"HELP ME NOW! DO WHATEVER YOU CAN!!!"

My paternal grandfather had a very mild heart attack and the doctor wanted him to have an angioplasty. He went into the hospital, failed the stress test, and started screaming "get me out of here, they just want my money, I'm fine!".  Maybe that's the stubborn Irish, maybe that was fear as he had never set foot in a hospital, ever.  He was released and went back to his life.  6 months later he had a massive heart attack while playing golf.  When my grandmother got to him he was on a gurney, blue from the neck down.  He looked at her and said "Whatever they need to do to me to fix this, you have them do it okay?".  He died the same day.  

We are an OVER privileged society of demanding, stubborn people.  If you read my previous post about Tracy Ryan and the Unsupersize Me film you are reminded how there is an underground culture of obese people who want it to be cool to be obese.  I don't get it, never will.  These are the ones who will be lying on a bed waiting for a fire truck to come pull them out of a house because they are simply too big to move.  My tax payer dollars can be used for better things my friends... like putting out fires.  

There are people screaming at me literally and figuratively because I quit drinking. I will ask you ever so politely to fuck off. Please.  It was one of the best things I could have done for my body, my mind, and my relationships.  Will I ever have a drop of alcohol again? Maybe, maybe not.  I'm not concerned with it and you shouldn't be either.  

When someone has a problem with anything in excess, there is usually a reason why.  Sometimes it isn't as easy as "stop eating you fat fuck" or "just quit".  You have to be willing and ready... ready being the key word. I can sit here and type my heart out but if you ain't ready, ain't nobody quittin' nothin'.  

With all this said we should keep in mind that WE are still responsible for our own actions and that is where the problem tends to lie.  We blame our past, we blame others (If it was bad for us they wouldn't sell it would they?) and we don't take responsibility for ourselves but we want someone else to pick up the pieces.  I call bullshit.  If you know in your heart of hearts that what you are doing, drinking, eating, smoking, fucking, is wrong then start by abiding by one simple rule:

Do The Right Thing

It can be as simple as that.  When you go into decision making mode and your brain kicks in, many times we look at a situation and think "I shouldn't do it but...".  That's your cue.  Do The Right Thing  I use it with my step kids for the simplest of tasks. When you see the towel on the floor, instead of saying "not mine" just pick it up because you are then Doing The Right Thing.  I'm not saying be a doormat or to get taken advantage of, I'm simply using the most basic of skills to make you realize how easy SOME of those decisions can be.  
"He's cute but I'm drunk and he could be an ax-murderer, should I take him home?"  
Do The Right Thing.  

...and yes, I am fully aware that doing the right thing can be awfully fucking boring in some circumstances but it could also save your life, someone elses life, or your health.  I wish I could rewind just half of the stupid decisions I've made in my life and Do The Right Thing.  
It would have saved me many heartaches, pounds, hangovers, friendships, and dollars. 

Don't complain my pretties when you are faced with a doom and gloom situation simply because you made bad choices that could have been overcome with a simple decision.  If you have a true problem and need to seek medical or mental health attention I urge you to go get it.  If your loved ones are struggling to make a life-changing decision no matter how it affects your time at the bar or the all-you-can-eat buffet, support them.  Don't encourage the bad behaviors of others when they are trying to do good for themselves just because it might affect your social life.  

In all aspects of life Do The Right Thing. 
  
...and to conclude I have to recall a time when I drank too much around age 20 or 21. As 21 was the legal drinking age, lets just pretend.  
I got bombed beyond belief and had a horrendous hangover.  I was spending the night with one of my best friends, her parents came home the next day and her dad just looked at me sitting curled in a ball in a Pier One papason chair in total agony.  He went to the kitchen, made me a rockin' chocolate chip milkshake and said "after seeing this with 6 kids I'll give you the same advice ... If you wanna dance, you gotta pay the fiddler".
I never forgot that and never will.  Clearly I didn't do the right thing. 

Melted

My sketches were a very important part of this blog and I've let them go to the back burner because I put too much pressure on myself.  I have a habit of diving head first into a project, and then VOILA! Shiny Object!!! ...and I get distracted.

I started this sketch on 4/14 but then got stumped, had a friend die so I changed tact with my posts, then I ended up writing "Frozen" from my iPhone while sitting on a pool deck in Jacksonville.
Sometimes things just flow as they flow.  Let it be.

As I wrote in my last post, I have a new project underway.  Totally out of my comfort zone.  What I realized is that because I am not a homemaker or a trophy wife and I do run two businesses, I have limited time to do anything not absolutely necessary.

Sorry Pinterest, I will pin a lot of things that I will never EVER make, BUT damn those spray-painted-rubber-band-on-wine-bottle-candle holder things are cute next to those no-bake-peanut-butter-fudge-bars.
You have to MAKE time, yeah yeah, whatever. Screw you.

I am going to approach this project a bit methodically to make sure I do it the right way the first time.  I'm giving myself a fairly long time frame (as in years) and I am taking in some educational resources in bits and pieces.  If I were 20 years younger I would have enrolled in school (again) re-arranged my work schedule, and jumped in a lava pit only to eventually get burned out.  That's how I roll.

I am 45 and I want to do this ever-growing-thing in my head properly (lets call it Project K).  I am not going to half-ass it so it is mediocre because I want it to get me on the proverbial map and hopefully, make me a success...(and some extra dough wouldn't hurt either).  The suspense is killing me.

This weekend my husband and I were talking about how our lives have turned around so much in the past few months and there is more focus for things like this.  We have two legal battles behind us, we are taking much better care of our bodies, and we have released some VERY toxic baggage in our lives.
Things are calm.  Is it the calm before the storm? Maybe, but sometimes you need a good storm when you've been in a drought and my creativity has been bone dry.

Toxicity comes in many forms.  Chemical, solid, liquid and human.  Human toxicity is the worst.  As they say, like attracts like which is a beautiful thing, but when shit piles on top of shit, things stink.  Hang around with assholes and eventually you become an asshole.  Give in to drama and you become wrapped up in drama.  I prefer to take my hippy dippiness to new heights and live my life like its one big-ass love-in.  If you aren't enjoying the party then leave.  Now that things are calm, we can focus on the most important things in our life, each other, our family, our home, and our friends.  All of the Projects K's can now fall into place.

So back to my original thought which is my sketches. Going forward some posts will have them and some won't. Not gonna stress about it anymore.  I don't want anything I do creatively to feel like work because if you don't love what you do each and every day then it too can become toxic.  No one likes to wake up each day when the alarm goes off and having that first, eye-opening, pleasant thought... "Fuck I hate my job, I don't want to go to work". I don't like to schedule time to draw, I just like to draw.
I used to tell my employees at Crate, "If you wake up hating the idea of coming here each day then my all means leave. Save yourself from misery.  It isn't anything personal but I don't want people on my team that don't enjoy what they do. There is something else out there for you that you will love doing, you just need to make the effort to find it".  You get what you give. If you're a lazy fucker then don't complain.

"Find yourself and love what you find". K. Crisp