Valentines day as we know it in most ideologies is a day for someone to express their love to their significant other by giving them overpriced flowers, candy, and high expectations.
No I am not being a killjoy, I am being a realist.
I started out like many other little girls by passing out cheap, perforated Valentines day cards in elementary school. In the 1970's you could do that without it causing a war of civil rights or battling some sort of religious issue. As my parents taught me to be fair, I always passed out one to every kid in my class and brought a few extras just in case I forgot someone and could scribble out a name at the last minute before the bell rang. As the years went by and the hormones became more enraged I blossomed into a seriously gawky girl who, until high school, was the tallest kid in the class with huge front teeth, a horrid under bite, glasses and freakishly thick and curly hair that no one knew what to do with ... yuk. Every year when that fateful February 14th would approach I would be envious of the girls who got cards, candy and the stupid "valentinegram" that you could buy from the school store to give to someone else in school. Just another way to make the unpopular kids feel even more unpopular. Did I ever get anything? No, because I was too freaking gawky to have a boyfriend and frankly I wouldn't have dated me either.
At least my parents always had a sense of fun and frivolity. No matter what holiday I got a card or a little gift. Be it conversation hearts or an Easter basket I was always taken care of by good old mom and dad ... even into my 20's and even if I lived out of town.
That is a pretty cool mom that will mail valentines or an Easter basket a few hundred miles away to a 25 year old "kid".
Now the pressure that is put, usually by girls on guys, on those to indulge heavily in this tradition is kind of maddening. What makes those fucking roses so much more special on February 14th that causes them to have a 500% price increase? Are the sprinkled with cocaine? Do they contain the fountain of youth? Can they cure cancer? Why is there so much undue pressure on these poor saps to deliver? Now I would be lying if I said that I didn't LOVE all holidays, this one included, but have some creativity and come up with something on your own. Chances are if you run into CVS on Valentines day morning to scramble for some last minute bullshit, it will show.
Side note for all holidays: All good gift giving requires is listening to your loved one or friend and actually paying attention to his or her likes. Take notes. It ain't rocket science.
Ah yes, the saddened single girl who feels so left out and is looked upon with pity every time a holiday like this comes along. Poor, dear, girl. Because this sad, sad girl doesn't have a mate she is very likely to loathe the very idea of Valentines day. Why? Because she is wallowing in self-pity.
"WHOOOAAAAA ISSS MEEEEE".
Whatever.
I have had some very nice Valentines days spent with my husband as well as boyfriends of years past. I've also been the recipient of some pretty cheesy gifts, stuffed animals and yes, the last minute CVS box of chocolate. I know that it is the "thought that counts" but when you can tell not much thought went into it, I don't really think that counts. If you don't mean it, don't give it.
Since I got married I have entered into a different work industry and my last 4 or 5 Valentines days have been spent working at a boat show in Miami surrounded by drunken sailors and vendors. How very romantic. The best part for me is buying that cheap box of immature, perforated valentines (I am still partial to Hello Kitty) and passing them out to the poor guys (it is, in fact, an industry heavily laden in testosterone) who have to work the show but damn-well-better-remember to call the old ball & chain on the 14th before venturing out to Rumland.
Note: Rumland is a real place. It contains rum, ice, over-baked tans, gnarly boat feet, DEEP DEEP cleavage, fried hair, and lots of ridiculous memories that get lost in the night.
With all this said I think one of the best Valentines celebrations I have ever had was in 2008 when I was single. I was living in Chicago, still battling depression and trying to get over a failed dating experience (I can't really even call it a relationship so I won't bother). I threw my own Valentines day party and invited a great group of friends over. A few single, but also many couples. Was I envious? Nope, because the simple idea of having a party with great friends meant it didn't matter what the celebration was, it was simply a reason to enjoy good people. I bought totally cheesy decorations and went to town, dolled up with a red dress and busted out hot rollers for nostalgia sake. It snowed like hell and everyone invited came anyway. We ate, drank and took lots of school-dance type dumb-ass posed pics. Sound immature? Yup it was but my guests ranged from age 23-50 and we all had a blast. Once again, my inner 14 year old threw the party and everyone elses inner 14 year old self showed up. ...and MY date? A 13 year old schnauzer mix named Radar... my bestest buddy ever, may he be resting in peace enjoying rum off a swizzle stick in Rainbow heaven or whatever that sappy dead dog poem is.
Grab your friends, grab your partner, your family, your kids, your pets, and have a big old bash to enjoy the celebration of love. Love isn't restricted to a spouse or a boyfriend. Love is universal and our friendships tend to be some of the best kinds of love we can have in our lives. Love your friends in a big way, they are more likely to be true, loyal, long-term, and a good friend is excused from the CVS gift pool drudgery as long as there is a kitsch factor involved!
If you have kids, enforce the same. Don't let the "poor little girl" be oh-so-saddened because some jack-ass kid doesn't get her something. YOU get her something and tell her how amazing and awesome she is.
How can you express your love? By giving it to those who are most important to you 365 days a year, because that says a hell of a lot more than overpriced roses.
Have an awesome, love filled day!! xoxoxoxoxoxxooxox
Love is all that matters and all that makes sence
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