We Love Dirty Laundry

We all do, its like the train wreck syndrome.  You hate to see the carnage but you can't turn away.  Social media has made it a zillion times worse.  Someone farts and it is all over Fox News and has 1 million hits on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube... or all of them and even those lesser known sites that are creeping up every single day.  

My goal with this site is to develop it into something grand.  To send out a message to people that "Hey, life gives us shit but if you have a positive attitude you can wade nicely through the shit and still come out clean on the other side".  Right now life is presenting us all with so many obstacles it is hard to get ahead.  Jobs are hard, the economy sucks, and social media has really gone from being a blessing to a curse.  Great for business, bad for relationships.  

You have to stand up for yourself and be your own voice so that you can be the Last Rat Standing.  It is up to you, no one else to make things happen in your life.  If you are waiting for the proverbial lottery to hit then you are missing the mark and you'll keep waiting and waiting and waiting.  The lottery only happens if you play and the odds are not in your favor (of course that doesn't stop my white trash side from entering the PCH when the emails come across my inbox).  You can go broke trying or you can step up and take control of your own destiny. 

The more I write, the more exposure I am getting and with a little bit of "fame"(for lack of a better word) comes a little bit of drama. None of us are perfect but we all tend to sit back and point fingers at others and their mistakes, pitfalls, and stupidity, so let me save you the time. 
Before anyone else decides to find their sinister Snidley Whiplash side and post some info about me, I'll do the honors. I regret some of the things I've done, feel terrible for others, and have asked forgiveness for a lot, BUT our experiences and mistakes shape us, define us, and make us who we are.  If we didn't do stupid things life would be boring as hell, the trick is simply ... don't repeat them.  
So here goes, shit I have done that might make a tabloid:

1. I've done drugs, several kinds, in my oh-so-experimental teens & 20's. Weed (plenty), crank (gross), cocaine (boring), and ecstasy (expensive and draining). I wasn't an addict but I tried what was offered. Nothing to do with my upbringing AT ALL, simply to do with the company I was keeping. Proof to you parents, pay attention to who your kids are hanging out with. *Unless of course you are Bieber then you are hanging out with your parents.
2. I drank for 29 years before that stupid, repeated, broken promise of "never again" actually became a reality. Simply one too many pukefests. No rehab, no drama... just quit.  It was my third attempt and I'm 3.2 years sober. Third times a charm. 
3. I dated a girl once for about a month.  NO I am not gay and NO I am not bi-sexual. I was 23 and she looked like a Backstreet Boy.
4. I've dated a few married men.  Not my proudest moments but lets also point out not theirs either.  
5. I've cheated (on tests and people). 
6. I've lied.  If you say you haven't ever lied you are lying to yourself. 
7. I've been depressed. I've been in therapy, it rocked... the therapy not the depression.
8. I've hit and run (cars NOT people) when I was in my late teens. Fast forward to my 30's & the next time I hit someone not in their presence I left a note and for that I was rewarded with a phone call of appreciation, "I can't believe anyone would leave a note! Its no big deal, don't worry about it". Whew. My car looked worse than hers did.  
9. I've had a one-night stand ... or 2 ... or 3 ... and I emphatically blame that on being horribly bullied and vying for attention from anyone who would give it.  
10. I got arrested when I was 19 for a minor in possession... of the beer that was left in the car when they arrested the driver.  I was now in possession of the car and the beer... I believe they call that entrapment. 

Now, with that oh-so-shocking list let me say that the simplicity of the list doesn't begin to cover the complexity of the actions.  I type before you with my tail between my legs and say, I'm sorry.  Sorry for my mistakes and sorry for hurting those that I have hurt.  I truly mean that from the bottom of my heart. 

Before you gasp and criticize please close your eyes, look inward and think about your biggest mistakes and regrets  We all have them but are VERY quick to gossip and yak about the person in the news, the tabloids, and worse than that, your friends and family. 

Two things you should only have to say to someone once: "Thank you" and "I'm sorry".  If you need to repeat it over and over the recipient is the one with the problem.  

My heart is very open and I always have everyone's best intentions at heart.  I actually pray for the crapholes in my life right now because they need it more than I do. I feel sorry for those who don't learn and who don't have anything better to do than cause drama, especially after age 30.  It is a good indication of an unhappy individual and life is too short to live that way.  Grow up and focus on your OWN problems, leave mine alone.  

So there, I've aired out the basics of my dirty laundry.  I'm sure there are some BIG details in my top 10 list that can certainly add fuel to the fire but hey, we all have a spark waiting to spontaneously combust. 
Work on your own before you take a match to someone elses.

"To thine own self be true" - (Hamlet act 1, scene 3)