One week ago today my husband & I were sitting on our deck drinking coffee around 9:30ish am. The weather was gorgeous, the kids were asleep and the cats were watching us through the windows. The birds were singing, a few dogs barking, but all in all, a pretty peaceful scene... until 'BANG'!!! We looked at each other and no one said a word but we both thought the same thing ... gun shot. Now we don't live in the ghetto but we hear a lot of fireworks and occasional shots that sound like pellet guns & such so to be honest, we didn't say a word to each other, just a glance, then back to our coffee.
About an hour later we decided to take a family bike ride. While out we noticed a LOT of police activity approx. 5 doors down. First thing my husband said to me "remember what we heard earlier?". It hadn't even crossed my over-busy mind. An hour later, a forensics van arrived.
Long and short of it, after a few phone calls to neighbors I found out that the couple who lived in that house had been going through (or getting ready to) a divorce. The husband apparently had come to the house while the wife was out, mowed the lawn, then shot himself in the backyard. His son found him.
My first relief was that there was no break-in or murder among our quiet 'hood, however when reality set in I was highly disturbed by the thought that I heard the sound that took another human beings last moment on this earth...and it was only a short walk from my own home.
I can luckily say that I have no experience with suicide, nor do I wish to. It scares me. It doesn't solve anything and what I have witnessed is the pain and suffering that it causes those left behind.
My intention with this blog is not to rant on sad, depressing or bitchy things but as the topics come up, I take them and run with them. It took me a week to decide whether or not to address this so here we are.
I have been depressed. Clinically. Emotionally. Mentally. Classify it how you wish but even in what I considered my darkest hour I never thought of ending my life because of it. Depression is real and if you have never experienced it consider yourself lucky. It isn't bullshit and it isn't something someone does for attention. If they are truly depressed, it is an illness, a chemical imbalance in the brain. It can be caused by the genes floating around in your body or it can be the result of a traumatic event (situational). After weeks and weeks of my freaky behavior I decided to address it and to this day I am thankful that I did. Noticed it, got it treated, moved on with my life.
Life presents many gifts in life and they aren't all good. Death, divorce, termination, ridicule, there is a big nasty list of reasons to be pissed off and sad but there is ALWAYS a brighter side. A shelter to house you, a kitchen to feed you, a church to guide you.
I am not an expert, a doctor, a social worker, or a psychiatrist. I am another human being who has compassion for others whether human or four-legged. This past 3 years has aged me rapidly due to many stressful situations that were out of my control. They brought me down but I always had faith that life would get better. Even in the event that my "worst enemy" (so to speak) was in dire straights I would be the girl voted "Most likely to help an asshole even though they screwed me over" because that's just how I am.
This world (and this country) is losing its compassion for each other in a rapid succession day by day. In the words of the great Metallica, it is Sad But True. We are all about me me me and it needs to change.
Reach out and help your fellow man, woman, or child. If you know someone who is showing signs of depression or even worse, desperation, see what you can do and how you can help. It can be something as simple as listening, sharing a meal, or guiding that person to the resources they need to get back on a clear path to happiness.
Life is a beautiful thing, don't waste it, regret it, end it ,or let it pass you by.
xoxoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment